He-She-It

In the course of Life, strange and weird experiences are no stranger to anyone. To cope with them,or not is left to the individuals experiencing them. 

What if one has agglomerated negative thoughts? How is it going to affect his/her life? Is it worth giving it a thought? What keeps them going beyond a point? Lets try to find an answer to these questions.

Excerpts from a conversation which was misunderstood and misinterpreted due to the cluster of negative thoughts.

He  : I want your opinion in this issue.

She :  What do you want me tell in this regard?

He :  I want to know what you feel about this.

She : I have got no opinion about. It is better unsaid. 

He : Why are you trying to act diplomatically? Why are you like this? You have changed a lot. This is not the person I met and fell in love with. It is very irritating. This is not the first time you trying to be diplomatic. Hereafter, I shall act in the same way as you do when you come up to me for an opinion. Its a lesson to me.

She : If this is what you feel, then I am ready to take it. It is not that I am trying to be diplomatic. I fear that if in future someone comes to know about my opinion, then they might feel bad since this is a sensitive issue.

He : Agreed that this is a sensitive issue. But how could you think that I would ever talk about you like that? The very crux of  our relationship is belief, sharing and being one's self come what may. I sometimes feel that you are not giving your 100% .

She : What? I am not true to this relationship?

(Now, "It" comes to play in her life)

IT : Hey! girl. You are not fit to be in this relationship. You have not been true. You have been a loser all through your life. People have always tried to find fault in you and they have succeeded. 

She : Yes. You are correct. I have not been able to satisfy peopleanything. How will I be able to prove? I am not intelligent, I am not smart. I have not been able to match to his expectations and hence the words "Not 100%" spurred out.

IT : Very true. You have come in terms with me!! Let me guide you. 

(Back into the conversation with him)

She : True. You have pointed out correctly that I ve not given 100%. It hurts. Thanks for everything (cries).

He : Oh! no. I never said that you have not been true. I just wanted to make you understand that you are not giving out your opinion. I ve always wanted you to speak your mind. Nothing else. I am feeling very bad that I've not communicated that properly to you. I cant stand to see you crying. I am extremely sorry.Gotta go. Take care. Catch you later.

She : That is fine. I'll take care. Dont worry.

(He leaves the place hoping that everything will be fine but IT enters again)

It :  Time and again you have been proved wrong. It is impossible for you to be a winner. You are fit for nothing.

She : Yes, I am unfit. I am not going to make it big. Everybody is correct. I am wrong. I ve not been able to give my 100% in anything.

Meantime he tries to catch up with her through mails and messages. He also tries to make her understand that she is worthy enough. But since she is clouded with -ve thoughts, she is not able to lend her ears to any of those explanations given by him. "It" has worked well. Her loneliness has added fuel to the fire. She has aberrated.

(He calls her to make her understand who she is)

He : I am sorry. I dint want to hurt you. I just wanted you to be yourself. I respect your opinion and I want you to be as happy and as chirpy as ever.

(still crying)

She : It always takes time to sink in me. I am not intelligent. I am fit for nothing. This is what I am. From my past experiences, I've learnt not to lend my opinion since I've always been mistaken. I don't want to be misunderstood. 

He : Aha! Now I understand your problem. I am trying to assimilate as many instances to get to know that you are clouded by unwanted thoughts. I've always been impressed by your ability to debate. They've always been a healthy ones. Now I find you in some other world. I can find dwelling in some world of frustration and depression. I fear that you are trying to seclude yourself from the outer world. I am concerned about our future. 

She : No. That is not the reason. Everything is because, I've been mistaken.

He : No. This is not the reason. It is because of the reason that I pointed out. You were not the person who you are now. You have changed. You have argued with me and they have all been very positive. I've always been very happy that you have been able to reason out. You are intelligent enough and you have proved it in the past. You are a talented person. But not streamlining them has led to all these. You have always been very interactive. Now you are not the same person. Come out of your world. This is not going to help you in anyway. Interact with the world. Everything is at your disposal. The world has become small with so many modes of communication. 

Regarding the fear that someone might mistake you, If somebody close to you mistakes you for conveying what you felt, then they are never yours. 

I am feeling bad. I want you to be alright.I want you to think about this. 

( He ends the call and she cogitates. Meantime, It enters her mind)

It : I don't think so what he said is true. You always refrain from telling what you feel. And you are not intelligent as he pointed out. They are just mere decorous words used.

She : No, what he said is true. He has pointed out correctly.When somebody never understands or finds fault in me for conveying what I felt, then how can they be mine? 

I am as intelligent and as competent as anybody is in this world. I've been wasting my talents which I don't intend to do any more. Impossible itself has got "I'm possible". Idle mind has played devil's advocate in my case. I am going to channelise my thoughts and deeds for positive outcomes. I know that it is not an easy task . But I will ensure that I'll never give up my hope. I'll never be complacent and will strive hard to achieve my goal. I have been a winner and I'll be able to win again. I'll not spoil my life by brooding over the past and will make sure "It" never takes over me.

It : Oh! no, I don't think I've got a part to play in your life anymore. I was enjoying your ignorance. But now, I don't think so and have no hope. You've abated me.BOOHOO :(. ( See the negative thought in itself :P) 

Wow!! a ray of hope has entered her. When negative thoughts prevail, the positivity in the environment always fades away and better opportunities cease to be visible. At any point of time, let us not allow the negative thoughts to enter our minds. They just ruin our lives.As they say, Every man is the architect of his own fortune Not that everybody will be booming with positive thoughts, but at least we can be away from the negative thoughts. A small conversation was blown out of proportion because of these crap.This can happen in any body's life. Why should we give room for all this?  Let us take necessary steps to ensure that we don't end up our lives in this crap. More about positive thinking can be expected :)